Lies Are Important

I am learning French. Today in class, we learnt the verb: to lie - mentir. Each student was asked to give an example about when we told a lie. During this exercise, a general discussion came about how lying is wrong and should be avoided, etc. I said something to the effect of - lying is very important in life. People were surprised and thought for a while that I misunderstood the meaning of the verb (because we were all speaking in our broken French. No english allowed in class). I was surprised more people don't think that ...

I then gave the example of how we lie to children to protect them from the truths of life. And that's just one type of lie that's necessary in our social contract.

• We lie to our parents to protect them from certain aspects of our personal lives. They may find it too shocking.
• As mentors, we lie to our pupils when we advocate our principles. They may not listen to hypocrites.
• We lie to our close friends and loved ones when they ask us to be honest about some aspect of their life. Their ego may be too fragile.
• We lie to powers of authority. Their judgement may be too heavy to bear.
• We lie as a strategy in a simple game of poker or during an act of war. They may hold an upper hand.
• We lie to ourselves every day. We may not acknowledge our dark side.
• We lie to seduce a convenience. Truth is sometimes insufficient.
• We lie to avoid a confrontation. Truth is sometimes uncomfortable.
• We lie because we can. Or we have excuses like "all is fair in love and war".

I'm pretty sure there are quite a few more reasons than these. Just as the 'pursuit of truth' adds value to our life, I think the proliferation of lies preserves what we hold dear.

No, I haven't been drinking while writing this post. ;)

Text Conversations

K: Wat type of a girl r u really looking for .... be honest!
Me: It's a little late in the game for such a basic question. Hehe. Besides i don't believe in that. I think this is one of the first things we talked about when we first met online and started chatting before phone calls. I believe in meeting someone and then wanting her rather than the other way round.
K: I want u to really think and give me an honest answer
Me: I am. I have no preconceived image of my soul mate or whatever. I really think wanting to be with someone after meeting her is more important. How i feel about someone is what matters. Not that she has to be a certain way about her for me to want her.
K: That doesn't work .... think again
Me: Hehe. Why does it not work? You are crazy. It works.
K: How many times did it work for u sweets?
Me: Depending on how we define 'works', it worked every time. If it has to work out all the way, then it only has to work once. Waiting for that. I'm a believer of chemistry. Physical, emotional, intellectual. As long as there are these, there is hope.
K: U can go out w/ somebody ... but u usually always end up w/ the same or similar type of ppl
Me: True. So if i have to find something common in all my exes, 'she' is skinny, average height, south asian, independent, fashionable, assertive, unconventional with alternative tastes, ambitious, liberal, not very religious, somewhat disconnected from previous generations (parents), western cultured, passionate about work, and busy. That's all i can think of. May be there's more.
K: :-) ok

Ripple

I made this in Illustrator CS4 as part of a tutorial. Fun! Which level of happiness does Creation fall into?

Wars are an everyday discussion on the radio. Not that it bothers me anyway. I live here sheltered. Still it's nice to stare into the simplicity and serenity of an artificial ripple of water.

25 (Negative) Things About Me

1. I'm more interested in meeting new people and making new friends than keep my existing friends or staying in touch with old friends.
2. I can never remember if I locked my apartment. It's almost a daily routine for me to walk to my car and walk back to my apartment to check the lock again. Going on a vacation can be painful since I have to do this multiple times (yes, all the way to my car and back. I'm not kidding). I can only be glad I live on the second floor and not any higher.
3. I'm agnostic. Not just about God. About other things as well that require faith and trust in an abstract quality of the human enterprise. True love. Loyal friendships. Unforgettable moments. They may be. They may be not.
   
4. I'm an impulsive shopper. Electronic toys and gadgets hypnotize me. I never wait for deals. If I want something, I spend first and think later.
5. I buy more books than I read. I have two cabinets in my living room. One for the books I have read. The other has books that I haven't yet opened. It even has a few books with bookmarks because I left them unread halfway. I'm running out of room in this cabinet.
6. I judge people based on how skinny or overweight they are. I do get over it once I get to know them. I think. I'm not always sure. I was once told that I'm only attracted to skinny women. I was surprised by that. I only realized it then.
7. I love driving in the rain without the windshield wipers on. But I always wear my seat belt. My favorite weather is when it's cloudy, dark and gloomy. Chilly, drizzling, slightly windy but not cold. It makes the day slightly better than ordinary.
8. I become obsessive about TV shows (amongst plenty of other things). I stupidly try to idolize them or identify with them. I think House M.D. is a role model. I watch almost every repeat episode so much so that I actually dreamt last night that I helped him on a medical case. Oh, and I have a huge crush on Jessie XX. I root for her every time she is blunt or plays with a knife.
   
9. I daydream about action scenes from sci-fi movies and tv shows. Yes, I have super powers in them. I'm waiting to outgrow this habit, but I've had it for a while now.
   
10. I avoid calling my parents because I feel I argue with them more than I talk to them.
11. I cannot recite a single phone number from my address book. The only number I had memorized was my sister's home number. She recently told me she was getting it disconnected.
    
12. I am very patronizing and sarcastic in arguments or friendly debates. I feel I have learned more from my life than others have from theirs. If I'm not saying anything, then I'm probably mocking the other person(s) in my head.
13. I constantly make multiple to-do lists and put them in multiple places or computers. I probably can make a list of where all my lists are and what their status is.
    
14. I'd rather take on too many projects than too few. Feeling purposeful and thereby important feeds my self-esteem.
15. I clean my apartment in long intervals. I wait for it to become really messy and dirty before I clean it all the way instead of on an ongoing basis.
16. I have imaginary conversations with people from the past over unresolved baggage, regrets and lost arguments over otherwise silly things. I would willingly invest in any research of time travel.
    
17. I keep all the wedding invitations I receive. Lately I have stopped opening them. They go straight into a shoe box.
    
18. I prefer staying indoors by myself than go out with friends. Except hiking. I'm always up for hiking.
19. I haven't visited home in India since 2002. I have plenty of excuses. Mostly I think it's because I prefer to spend the time and money to travel to a new place instead.
20. I cannot function at work without a Coke in the afternoon. I'm addicted.
21. I killed a plant. I'm thinking of getting some fish but probably won't. I'm afraid I'm too negligent for any pets.
22. I have selective memory. I completely forget conversations and dates randomly, some of which are rather important. If it wasn't written down, there are no guarantees.
    
23. I don't get angry. I believe in passive-aggression. I will hold a grudge for as long as it takes.
24. I take lots of pictures. I share only a few of them. This annoys a lot of people.
    
25. I am self-absorbed (obviously). It took me about a couple of hours to write this list. Now I'm pondering if that's too short or too long. I'm writing this list partly because I want to acknowledge my negative tendencies. But mostly I'm curious to see if putting this list out there for the world to see, makes any difference to me. Either I will resolve to work on some of them to become a better individual. Or not.

Warm Lines

© 2008 Chaitan Bandela. All Rights Reserved.
Available in 1920x1280.

I have been recently very interested in abstract and vector illustrations. This is a product of a tutorial. Graphic illustrations feel like an alternative and sometimes an extension to creative photography. I want to learn the tools better to create more.

Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Flash have piqued my interest. And I'm trying to justify splurging an insane amount of money to expand my hobby. How bored am I?

Battles

I lost a battle today. But I'm glad. Because I was honest. I wasn't petty. I was fair. Despite what I was up against. I was greedy too. I didn't hesitate revealing this. And yet, I submitted to a rational argument. Which may not have been all that rational. I really don't know. And I honored the presumptions and interpretations set forth. Without understanding. With no explicit trust. Because it's not always about winning.

Integrity. It matters.

The Truth Will Set You Free

What Truth? Going by the evidence, the truth will scare you. Going by what I have seen, the truth will depress you. They also say, Perspective is everything. And going by that, the truth will humble you. Optimism is supposed to be healthy. So then, the truth will only be a betrayal. Forget about it. Denial works. Embrace it. Live in it.

"Truth begins in lies." - House, M. D.

Letting Go: Part II

I have in my hand a receipt from a Gift Store of 'Juliette Low Birthplace' from Feb 19, 2006. This is a receipt for a Coffee mug I bought during my visit to Savannah, GA, for the first time. Juliette Gordon Low is considered the Founder of Girl Scouts in USA and her place is considered the Mecca for Girl Scouts. For an average South Asian immigrant, this place should hold no significance. And yet I'm going through a shoe box throwing away stuff I should have a long time ago. I may be pathetic, but this is still something I have to face. No matter how long it takes, I have to let go of old junk to make room for new junk.

Guess what! I'm a sentimental fool. I'm destined to be burdened by the junk I hold on to.

I know I haven't let it all go yet. I'll probably never throw away the Coffee mug itself. Right now, I'm just ready to throw away the receipt for it. But this is one more step closer to becoming more independent of my own constructed sentimental demons. Hurrah!

Letting Go

'Moving on' is the biggest "lesson of life". You never get to learn it anywhere but from the pure failures of your own life. Or more specifically, the failures of the constructs you make, when you are the most hopeful.

Letting go of the junk you accumulate, when you hoped it would have become valuable, is as bad as betting on a Stock. Something as simple as hope you cling on to, may seem the most cruel you can be to yourself. Beware!

Right now, I'm looking for a CD. Something that, I think, would bring me great joy, through it's sheer value of entertainment. But I have to go through all these boxes of crap I never got around to sorting through. Concert tickets. Random receipts. Movie tickets!!! Now is as good a time as any. To throw away junk I've been holding on to for no reason at all.

Hopefully, I won't regret it in the morning. Even better, I won't remember it at all in the morning. Hopefully. Alcohol is such a boon at times! If only ...

Craving Artfully

For a while now, I've been taking photography more and more seriously. Ironically, this means that I post less and less to my flickr site since I'm constantly trying to increase the standards of photographs that I post to the site. But I know my work is improving, because I recently got hired for a 3 hour photo shoot and actually got paid. That was such a good feeling. And I donated it all to my favorite blog.

Recently, I've decided to take professional courses since self-study can only take me so far. Something that's serious but doesn't break the bank. What's out there?

How To Make A Bad Habit

• Decide how much you don't want to be that guy with the habit. You hate everyone with the habit. So you'll never want to be that guy.
• Tell yourself how much you are in control. You've had a good upbringing. This is never going to be an issue. You are lucky to have such good parents.
  
• Curiosity killed a cat. But you are not a cat. So it's not dangerous. You can try it. No big deal. It's no big deal.
• You did it. Everybody always told you had it in you. You always believed this would be the day. And it is here. Dreams come true. You da man. You need to do something special to celebrate. Something you've never done before. Or at least don't usually do.
  
• It's a party. And it's not a real party without it. And you wanna just party. You've been working hard and now you need a break.
• Life is great. Things are perfect. All those years of working hard have paid off. Everything is just where you want it to be. This is a proud moment. You wouldn't change a thing. Time to throw another party.
• Take it easy. Don't work so hard. Life's too short. Try to have some fun once in a while. You need a new routine. You are too dull. Change is good.
• Wow! You are a new man. Don't recognize you at all. What have you been doing lately? Whatever it is, this totally suits you. And she is hot. Wow! I mean, just Wow!!!
• Wait a minute... what was that? Seriously? No, seriously? This is way too boring. You need to try something new. Something crazy. Haven't you always wanted to try out that new place? Come on.
• Forget it. You are sorry and sad that it happened. But forget it. May be this is huge. But still, it just wasn't meant to be. Whatever. Move on. Life's too damn short to bother. Take a sick day. Or two. Get your mind off it. There is more to life.
• You need a new hobby. You need a new challenge. Focus. This turn will be good for you. But don't stress yourself too much. Take it easy during the weekends. Don't party. Instead, do something to relax. Don't think about anything too much.
• Alright! Things are working out. You totally deserved that promotion. Finally. Treat yourself. Go all out.
• Forget about your friends. They are taking the same path everyone else is. You choose your own path. Do what you want to do. And live your life. To the fullest. Focus on your career. Don't look back. Hedonism rules!
  
• Mondays suck. Wednesdays are worse. Friday is here. Yay! No, don't tell them. They don't need to know. None of their business. Stop thinking so much about it. It's Friday. Hmmm... What? You don't need an excuse. Do what you want to do.
  
• You can't have everything. But life's still good. What have you got to complain about? Do what you are doing. What ever will be, will be. Fuck sera sera.
  

Greed

It's never enough. No matter what. Satisfaction is a myth. Or at least it's very temporary. The insurmountable time spent chasing, waiting, calculating, wondering. It's useless. It never ends. I cannot quench this thirst. Ambition can be such an affliction. And so the search for a balance continues...

Good night, my blog. You are just a reminder of how infrequently I update you, and each time I swear, no, I wish I did it more often. I do the same with a myriad of inanimate objects in my life. So you don't take it personally. OK?

Very Funny Ads

Saw the Very Funny Ads of 2007 on TBS last night. Some of my favorites:

• Statoil: Snow
• Hahn: Super Dry
• Brylcreem: Effortless
• Ikea: Ordinary People
• HBA Insurance: Asleep
• Renault: High Jump
• Mentos: Dog
• Dentyne Frost Bites: Frost Bitten
• Oslo Horse Racing: Cocktail
• Dale Carnegie Training: Robber

Old Indian Cartoons

Someone sent me these ... :)

Socialized Medicine

Saw Michael Moore's documentary Sicko today. It was very interesting, suspiciously propaganda-like but nevertheless brings to light many facts about the non-universal and for-profit health care industry in the U.S. and compares to socialized health care system of other countries.

Socialized medicine or state medicine is a health care system which operates by means of government regulation and subsidies derived from taxation.

Nations listed in the movie that employ a socialized health care system are

• U.S.A. (limited and underfunded in the form of Medicare since 1960s and limited to a group in the form of Veterans Health Administration)
  
• Canada
• United Kingdom (since 1948)
  
• France
• Norway
• Cuba (since 1960s under Fidel Castro)
  
• Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility (joke of course)

According to Wikipedia, other nations that use (or have used) the system are

• Soviet Union (1920s)
• New Zealand since 1939
• China (1950s - 1970s)
• Israel since 1948
  
• Finland

Wonder what other major nations employ this system.

Highs and Lows (Playlist #6)

• Modern Mafia, Athlete (Tourist, 2005)
• Alcoholic, Starsailor (Love Is Here, 2002)
• Mulder and Scully, Catatonia (International Velvet, 1998)
• Wisemen, James Blunt (Back to Bedlam, 2005)
• Let's Roll, The Stills (Logic Will Break Your Heart, 2003)
  
• High, James Blunt (Back to Bedlam, 2005)
• Feels Just Like It Should, Jamiroquai (Dynamite, 2005)
• The Last High, The Dandy Warhols (Welcome To The Monkey House, 2003)
• We Used To Be Friends, The Dandy Warhols (Welcome To The Monkey House, 2003)
• Everything But Mine, Backstreet Boys (Unbreakable, 2007)
• Paralyzer, Finger Eleven (Them Vs. You Vs. Me, 2007)
  

Profiles

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Orkut

Breakfast (Playlist #5)

• Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos (Under The Pink, 1994)
• My Favorite Game, The Cardigans (Gran Turismo, 1998)
• Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, U2 (The Best of 1990-2000, 2002)
• Come Undone, Duran Duran (Duran Duran [The Wedding Album], 1993)
• Laid, James (The Best Of James, 1998)
• In A Little While, U2 (All That You Can't Leave Behind, 2000)
• It's My Life, Talk Talk (It's My Life, 1984)
• Steal My Sunshine, Len (You Can't Stop The Bum Rush, 1999)
• What Have I Done To Deserve This?, Pet Shop Boys (Discography: The Complete Singles Collection, 1991)
• Everybody's Changing, Keane (Hopes And Fears, 2004)
• In The Mean Time, Spacehog (Resident Alien, 1995)
• Sunrise, Simply Red (Home, 2003)
• Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage (Garbage, 1995)
• Thank U, Alanis Morissette (Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie, 1998)
• Shape Of My Heart, Sting (Ten Summoner's Tales, 1993)
• Tom's Diner, Suzanne Vega (Retrospective: The Best Of Suzanne Vega, 2003)
• Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve (Urban Hymns, 1997)
• Shit On The Radio (Remember The Days), Nelly Furtado (Whoa, Nelly!, 2000)
• It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over, Lenny Kravitz (Greatest Hits, 2000)
• Kiss The Rain, Billie Myers (Growing, Pains, 1997)
• Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinéad O'Connor (I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got, 1990)
• Crush, Jennifer Paige (Jennifer Paige, 1998)
• Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House (Crowded House, 1986)
• Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears For Fears (Songs From The Big Chair, 1985)
• Zombie, The Cranberries (No Need To Argue, 1994)
• Mad World, Tears For Fears (The Hurting, 1983)
• Save Yourself, Sense Field (Tonight and Forever, 2001)
• Live And Learn, The Cardigans (Long Gone Before Daylight, 2004)
• The Outsiders, Athlete (Beyond The Neighbourhood, 2007)
  

Sepia Mutiny Update

It's been a long road since I volunteered to help out at the bunker. Abhi interviewed me over the phone during my drive of nearly seven hours from Atlanta to Orlando. Five months and 16 days since I got the keys to the bunker, I made my contribution today. Yet to see how the Sepia community receives it, but right now - it's a good feeling. :)

Eletronic Glue (Playlist #4)

• The Sky Is Broken, Moby (Play, 1999) [I heard this on one of my favorite episodes of X-Files and loved it]
  
• The Sea, Morcheeba (Big Calm, 1998)
  
• Protection, Massive Attack (Protection, 1994)
  
• Glory Box, Portishead (Dummy, 1994)
  
• Roads, Portishead (Dummy, 1994)
  
• Home, Depeche Mode (The Singles 86>98, 1998)
• Walking In The Sky, DJ Encore (Intuition, 2001)
• Virtual Insanity, Jamiroquai (Travelling Without Moving, 1996)
• Blue (Da Ba Dee), Eiffel 65 (Europop, 1999)
• Novocaine For The Soul, Eels (Beautiful Freak, 1996)
• Not An Addict, K's Choice (Paradise In Me, 1996)