All Things

Saw an interesting and unusual (for the series) X-Files episode today - All Things, Season 7 (1999). Written and Directed by Gillian Anderson, the theme of the episode is my favorite topic - What If.

The Scully-centered episode starts with Scully's voice over ...

Scully: Time passes in moments. Moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life, just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path. To see the reasons why all things happen. To consider whether the path we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. But what if we could stop? Pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And seeing those choices, choose another path?

The episode is riddled with bizarre coincidences trying to prove the new age philosophy about how everything happens for a reason. Overlooking that, the episode is really well done. Get to see another side of Scully, introspective, pondering about her choices, her past. It was awesome! Just when I thought I couldn't love this character any more, Gillian Anderson takes over the writing and directing and shows her even closely.

Most of the series has Mark Snow composing the music. But I guess Anderson decided to go another way for this new age style episode. Moby's The Sky Is Broken plays throughout the episode, which just renders the slow, contemplating story beautifully.

I constantly wonder about where my life is going. About what, all the routines I've inundated my days and weeks with, will lead to. How do I know that I'm not just wasting time, when I am not thinking harder about what is going to be meaningful to me in 10 years?

Mulder: You're not listening.
Scully: I am... I guess I just don't see the point.
Mulder: The point is that a computer program has shown us that these are not just random happenstance coincidental occurrences. And that same program has predicted that in just 48 hours even more complex formations are gonna be laid down in a field near Avebury. Forty-eight hours, Scully, but I wouldn't mind getting there earlier, if you don't mind.
Scully: Getting where?
Mulder: England, I got two tickets on a 5:30 flight.
Scully: Mulder, I still have to go over to the hospital and finish the final paperwork on that autopsy you had me do. And to be honest, it's Saturday. And I wouldn't mind, I don't know, taking a bath.
Mulder: What the hell does that mean?
Scully: What it means is that I'm not interested in tracking down some sneaky farmers who happened to ace geometry in high school. And besides, what could you possibly get out of this? Or learn? I mean, it's not even remotely FBI related.
Mulder: I'll just cancel your ticket. Thanks for lunch.
Scully: Mulder. Look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. Why don't you ever just stay still?
Mulder: I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.

I constantly wonder about the things I'm missing out on. Things I ought to be doing instead. If only I could figure out what they are. I hope I will find it soon. I hope, although impossible to invest myself in more than a few endeavors, that if I tried enough crafts, met enough people, read enough books / blogs, watched enough movies, traveled to enough cities, captured enough photographs, learned enough philosophies, took enough risks, made enough mistakes, ...

Daniel: There are things you don't know-- things I'm not proud of.
Scully: What things?
Daniel: I screwed up, Dana. Things got bad at home after...
Scully: Bad how?
Daniel: I haven't been completely honest with you. It was hard for me ... when you walked away. I shut down from my family. Needless to say, it was very difficult for Barbara.
Scully: You divorced.
Daniel: Only after an interminable period of discomfort for us both.
Scully: Where did you go?
Daniel: Here. Washington.
Scully: When?
Daniel: Almost ten years ago.
Scully: Daniel, you didn't move here for me?
Daniel: I didn't mean for it to happen this way, of course.
Scully: Oh, God-- You've come at such a strange time.
Daniel: I know. I know. You-- You have a life.
Scully: I don't know what I have. I mean-- Your X rays were in the wrong envelope. I never would have even known you were here if it wasn't for a mix-up. It's just--
Daniel: What do you want, Dana?
Scully: I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I want a life I didn't choose.