Warm Lines

© 2008 Chaitan Bandela. All Rights Reserved.
Available in 1920x1280.

I have been recently very interested in abstract and vector illustrations. This is a product of a tutorial. Graphic illustrations feel like an alternative and sometimes an extension to creative photography. I want to learn the tools better to create more.

Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Flash have piqued my interest. And I'm trying to justify splurging an insane amount of money to expand my hobby. How bored am I?

Battles

I lost a battle today. But I'm glad. Because I was honest. I wasn't petty. I was fair. Despite what I was up against. I was greedy too. I didn't hesitate revealing this. And yet, I submitted to a rational argument. Which may not have been all that rational. I really don't know. And I honored the presumptions and interpretations set forth. Without understanding. With no explicit trust. Because it's not always about winning.

Integrity. It matters.

The Truth Will Set You Free

What Truth? Going by the evidence, the truth will scare you. Going by what I have seen, the truth will depress you. They also say, Perspective is everything. And going by that, the truth will humble you. Optimism is supposed to be healthy. So then, the truth will only be a betrayal. Forget about it. Denial works. Embrace it. Live in it.

"Truth begins in lies." - House, M. D.

Letting Go: Part II

I have in my hand a receipt from a Gift Store of 'Juliette Low Birthplace' from Feb 19, 2006. This is a receipt for a Coffee mug I bought during my visit to Savannah, GA, for the first time. Juliette Gordon Low is considered the Founder of Girl Scouts in USA and her place is considered the Mecca for Girl Scouts. For an average South Asian immigrant, this place should hold no significance. And yet I'm going through a shoe box throwing away stuff I should have a long time ago. I may be pathetic, but this is still something I have to face. No matter how long it takes, I have to let go of old junk to make room for new junk.

Guess what! I'm a sentimental fool. I'm destined to be burdened by the junk I hold on to.

I know I haven't let it all go yet. I'll probably never throw away the Coffee mug itself. Right now, I'm just ready to throw away the receipt for it. But this is one more step closer to becoming more independent of my own constructed sentimental demons. Hurrah!

Letting Go

'Moving on' is the biggest "lesson of life". You never get to learn it anywhere but from the pure failures of your own life. Or more specifically, the failures of the constructs you make, when you are the most hopeful.

Letting go of the junk you accumulate, when you hoped it would have become valuable, is as bad as betting on a Stock. Something as simple as hope you cling on to, may seem the most cruel you can be to yourself. Beware!

Right now, I'm looking for a CD. Something that, I think, would bring me great joy, through it's sheer value of entertainment. But I have to go through all these boxes of crap I never got around to sorting through. Concert tickets. Random receipts. Movie tickets!!! Now is as good a time as any. To throw away junk I've been holding on to for no reason at all.

Hopefully, I won't regret it in the morning. Even better, I won't remember it at all in the morning. Hopefully. Alcohol is such a boon at times! If only ...

Craving Artfully

For a while now, I've been taking photography more and more seriously. Ironically, this means that I post less and less to my flickr site since I'm constantly trying to increase the standards of photographs that I post to the site. But I know my work is improving, because I recently got hired for a 3 hour photo shoot and actually got paid. That was such a good feeling. And I donated it all to my favorite blog.

Recently, I've decided to take professional courses since self-study can only take me so far. Something that's serious but doesn't break the bank. What's out there?

How To Make A Bad Habit

• Decide how much you don't want to be that guy with the habit. You hate everyone with the habit. So you'll never want to be that guy.
• Tell yourself how much you are in control. You've had a good upbringing. This is never going to be an issue. You are lucky to have such good parents.
  
• Curiosity killed a cat. But you are not a cat. So it's not dangerous. You can try it. No big deal. It's no big deal.
• You did it. Everybody always told you had it in you. You always believed this would be the day. And it is here. Dreams come true. You da man. You need to do something special to celebrate. Something you've never done before. Or at least don't usually do.
  
• It's a party. And it's not a real party without it. And you wanna just party. You've been working hard and now you need a break.
• Life is great. Things are perfect. All those years of working hard have paid off. Everything is just where you want it to be. This is a proud moment. You wouldn't change a thing. Time to throw another party.
• Take it easy. Don't work so hard. Life's too short. Try to have some fun once in a while. You need a new routine. You are too dull. Change is good.
• Wow! You are a new man. Don't recognize you at all. What have you been doing lately? Whatever it is, this totally suits you. And she is hot. Wow! I mean, just Wow!!!
• Wait a minute... what was that? Seriously? No, seriously? This is way too boring. You need to try something new. Something crazy. Haven't you always wanted to try out that new place? Come on.
• Forget it. You are sorry and sad that it happened. But forget it. May be this is huge. But still, it just wasn't meant to be. Whatever. Move on. Life's too damn short to bother. Take a sick day. Or two. Get your mind off it. There is more to life.
• You need a new hobby. You need a new challenge. Focus. This turn will be good for you. But don't stress yourself too much. Take it easy during the weekends. Don't party. Instead, do something to relax. Don't think about anything too much.
• Alright! Things are working out. You totally deserved that promotion. Finally. Treat yourself. Go all out.
• Forget about your friends. They are taking the same path everyone else is. You choose your own path. Do what you want to do. And live your life. To the fullest. Focus on your career. Don't look back. Hedonism rules!
  
• Mondays suck. Wednesdays are worse. Friday is here. Yay! No, don't tell them. They don't need to know. None of their business. Stop thinking so much about it. It's Friday. Hmmm... What? You don't need an excuse. Do what you want to do.
  
• You can't have everything. But life's still good. What have you got to complain about? Do what you are doing. What ever will be, will be. Fuck sera sera.
  

Greed

It's never enough. No matter what. Satisfaction is a myth. Or at least it's very temporary. The insurmountable time spent chasing, waiting, calculating, wondering. It's useless. It never ends. I cannot quench this thirst. Ambition can be such an affliction. And so the search for a balance continues...

Good night, my blog. You are just a reminder of how infrequently I update you, and each time I swear, no, I wish I did it more often. I do the same with a myriad of inanimate objects in my life. So you don't take it personally. OK?