Very Funny Ads

Saw the Very Funny Ads of 2007 on TBS last night. Some of my favorites:

• Statoil: Snow
• Hahn: Super Dry
• Brylcreem: Effortless
• Ikea: Ordinary People
• HBA Insurance: Asleep
• Renault: High Jump
• Mentos: Dog
• Dentyne Frost Bites: Frost Bitten
• Oslo Horse Racing: Cocktail
• Dale Carnegie Training: Robber

Old Indian Cartoons

Someone sent me these ... :)

Socialized Medicine

Saw Michael Moore's documentary Sicko today. It was very interesting, suspiciously propaganda-like but nevertheless brings to light many facts about the non-universal and for-profit health care industry in the U.S. and compares to socialized health care system of other countries.

Socialized medicine or state medicine is a health care system which operates by means of government regulation and subsidies derived from taxation.

Nations listed in the movie that employ a socialized health care system are

• U.S.A. (limited and underfunded in the form of Medicare since 1960s and limited to a group in the form of Veterans Health Administration)
  
• Canada
• United Kingdom (since 1948)
  
• France
• Norway
• Cuba (since 1960s under Fidel Castro)
  
• Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility (joke of course)

According to Wikipedia, other nations that use (or have used) the system are

• Soviet Union (1920s)
• New Zealand since 1939
• China (1950s - 1970s)
• Israel since 1948
  
• Finland

Wonder what other major nations employ this system.

Highs and Lows (Playlist #6)

• Modern Mafia, Athlete (Tourist, 2005)
• Alcoholic, Starsailor (Love Is Here, 2002)
• Mulder and Scully, Catatonia (International Velvet, 1998)
• Wisemen, James Blunt (Back to Bedlam, 2005)
• Let's Roll, The Stills (Logic Will Break Your Heart, 2003)
  
• High, James Blunt (Back to Bedlam, 2005)
• Feels Just Like It Should, Jamiroquai (Dynamite, 2005)
• The Last High, The Dandy Warhols (Welcome To The Monkey House, 2003)
• We Used To Be Friends, The Dandy Warhols (Welcome To The Monkey House, 2003)
• Everything But Mine, Backstreet Boys (Unbreakable, 2007)
• Paralyzer, Finger Eleven (Them Vs. You Vs. Me, 2007)
  

Profiles

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Breakfast (Playlist #5)

• Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos (Under The Pink, 1994)
• My Favorite Game, The Cardigans (Gran Turismo, 1998)
• Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, U2 (The Best of 1990-2000, 2002)
• Come Undone, Duran Duran (Duran Duran [The Wedding Album], 1993)
• Laid, James (The Best Of James, 1998)
• In A Little While, U2 (All That You Can't Leave Behind, 2000)
• It's My Life, Talk Talk (It's My Life, 1984)
• Steal My Sunshine, Len (You Can't Stop The Bum Rush, 1999)
• What Have I Done To Deserve This?, Pet Shop Boys (Discography: The Complete Singles Collection, 1991)
• Everybody's Changing, Keane (Hopes And Fears, 2004)
• In The Mean Time, Spacehog (Resident Alien, 1995)
• Sunrise, Simply Red (Home, 2003)
• Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage (Garbage, 1995)
• Thank U, Alanis Morissette (Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie, 1998)
• Shape Of My Heart, Sting (Ten Summoner's Tales, 1993)
• Tom's Diner, Suzanne Vega (Retrospective: The Best Of Suzanne Vega, 2003)
• Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve (Urban Hymns, 1997)
• Shit On The Radio (Remember The Days), Nelly Furtado (Whoa, Nelly!, 2000)
• It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over, Lenny Kravitz (Greatest Hits, 2000)
• Kiss The Rain, Billie Myers (Growing, Pains, 1997)
• Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinéad O'Connor (I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got, 1990)
• Crush, Jennifer Paige (Jennifer Paige, 1998)
• Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House (Crowded House, 1986)
• Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears For Fears (Songs From The Big Chair, 1985)
• Zombie, The Cranberries (No Need To Argue, 1994)
• Mad World, Tears For Fears (The Hurting, 1983)
• Save Yourself, Sense Field (Tonight and Forever, 2001)
• Live And Learn, The Cardigans (Long Gone Before Daylight, 2004)
• The Outsiders, Athlete (Beyond The Neighbourhood, 2007)
  

Sepia Mutiny Update

It's been a long road since I volunteered to help out at the bunker. Abhi interviewed me over the phone during my drive of nearly seven hours from Atlanta to Orlando. Five months and 16 days since I got the keys to the bunker, I made my contribution today. Yet to see how the Sepia community receives it, but right now - it's a good feeling. :)

Eletronic Glue (Playlist #4)

• The Sky Is Broken, Moby (Play, 1999) [I heard this on one of my favorite episodes of X-Files and loved it]
  
• The Sea, Morcheeba (Big Calm, 1998)
  
• Protection, Massive Attack (Protection, 1994)
  
• Glory Box, Portishead (Dummy, 1994)
  
• Roads, Portishead (Dummy, 1994)
  
• Home, Depeche Mode (The Singles 86>98, 1998)
• Walking In The Sky, DJ Encore (Intuition, 2001)
• Virtual Insanity, Jamiroquai (Travelling Without Moving, 1996)
• Blue (Da Ba Dee), Eiffel 65 (Europop, 1999)
• Novocaine For The Soul, Eels (Beautiful Freak, 1996)
• Not An Addict, K's Choice (Paradise In Me, 1996)

Pop Faves (Playlist #3)

• Follow, Brandi Carlile (Brandi Carlile, 2005)
• The Sky Is Broken, Moby (Play, 1999)
• High, James Blunt (Back To Bedlam, 2005)
• Unspoken, Four Tet (Rounds, 2003)
• This Ain't a Scene, It's An Arms Race, Fall Out Boy (Infinity On High, 2007)
• Right Where It Belongs, Nine Inch Nails (With Teeth, 2005)
• What Happens Tomorrow, Duran Duran (Astronaut, 2004)
• It's Not Over, Daughtry (Daughtry, 2006)
• Good Morning Revival, Good Charlotte (Good Morning Revival, 2007)
• Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood (Some Hearts, 2005)
• U + Ur Hand, Pink (I'm Not Dead, 2006)
• Kiss From A Rose, Seal (Seal, 1994)
• One For Sorrow - U.S. Mix, Steps (Step One, 1999)
• Last Thing On My Mind, Steps (Step One, 1999)
• One For Sorrow, Steps (The Best Of Steps, 2002)
• No More "I Love You's", Annie Lennox (Medusa, 1995)
• One Fine Day, Natalie Merchant (Retrospective 1990-2005, 2005)
• Sunny Came Home, Shawn Colvin (A Few Small Repairs, 1994)
• 24, Jem (Finally Woken, 2004)
• Holding Out For A Hero, Frou Frou (Shrek 2 OST, 2004)
• Building A Mystery, Sarah McLachlan (Surfacing, 1997)
• Adia, Sarah McLachlan (Surfacing, 1997)
• Atlantic, Keane (Under The Iron Sea, 2006)
• Is It Any Wonder?, Keane (Under The Iron Sea, 2006)
• Nothing In My Way, Keane (Under The Iron Sea, 2006)
• Shape Of My Heart, Sting (Ten Summoner's Tales, 1993)
  

Clocky

27-year old entrepreneur Gauri Nanda, a desi Graduate Student from MIT invents an alarm clock that jumps and runs away if you don't wake up. Funny and very practical! Available at clocky.net.

At Work (Playlist #2)

• Home Now, No Doubt (Return Of Saturn, 2000)
• Angel, The Corrs (Borrowed Heaven, 2004)
• Mysterious Ways, U2 (Achtung Baby, 1991)
• Possession, Sarah McLachlan (Mirror Ball, 1999) [Love love love this song]
• Hideaway, The Corrs (Borrowed Heaven, 2004)
• Girlfriend, Avril Lavigne (The Best Damn Thing, 2007)
• Money For Nothing, Dire Straits (Brothers In Arms, 1985)
• Wake Me Up, Norah Jones (Not Too Late, 2007)
• Sleeps With Butterflies, Tori Amos (The Beekeeper, 2005)
• Somewhere Only We Know, Keane (Hopes And Fears, 2004)
• Pictures [New Studio Song], Sia (Lady Croissant, 2007)
• Wires, Athlete (Tourist, 2005)
• Nothing Lasts Forever, Maroon 5 (It Won't Be Soon Before Long, 2007)
• A Sorta Fairytale, Tori Amos (Scarlet's Walk, 2002)
• Again, Lenny Kravitz (Greatest Hits, 2000)
• Everybody's Changing, Keane (Hopes And Fears, 2004)
• Find Your Way Back, Michelle Branch (Hotel Paper, 2003)
• You're A God, Vertical Horizon (Everything You Want, 1999)
• Half Light, Athlete (Tourist, 2005)
• Steve McQueen, Sheryl Crow (C'mon, C'mon, 2002)
• Breathe (2 AM), Anna Nalick (Wreck Of The Day, 2004)
• Sweet Misery, Michelle Branch (The Spirit Room, 2001)
• If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow (Sheryl Crow, 1996)
• Change, Kimberly Locke (Based On A True Story, 2007)
• Danger Zone, Gwen Stefani (Love.Angel.Music.Baby, 2004)
• Hunter, Dido (No Angel, 1999)
• My Favorite Game, The Cardigans (Gran Turismo, 1998)
• Everything To Everyone, Everclear (So Much For The Afterglow, 1997)
• Pinch Me, Barenaked Ladies (Maroon, 2000)
• Gardenia, Mandy Moore (Wild Hope, 2007) [Surprised to find this, is pretty good.]
• Hope Has A Place, Enya (The Memory Of Trees, 1995)
• Buddha's Remains, A.R. Rahman (Between Heaven And Earth, 2004)
• Live To Tell, Madonna (Something To Remember, 1995)
• Stars, t.A.T.u. (200 KM/H In The Wrong Lane, 2002)
• Father Of Mine, Everclear (So Much For The Afterglow, 1997)
• Show Me Love (Extended Version), t.A.T.u. (200 KM/H In The Wrong Lane, 2002)
• Toxic, Britney Spears (In The Zone, 2003)
• My Oh My, Aqua (Aquarium, 1997)
• One Of Us, Joan Osborne (Relish, 1995)
• Happy Boys & Girls, Aqua (Aquarium, 1997)
• Learn To Fly, Foo Fighters (There Is Nothing Left To Lose, 1999)
• Breathe Me, Sia (Colour The Small One, 2004)
• Ode To My Family, The Cranberries (No Need To Argue, 1994)
• One Headlight, The Wallflowers (Bringing Down The Horse, 1996)

At Home Playlist #1

• Cupids Chokehold, Gym Class Heroes (The Papercut Chronicles, 2004)
• Baba O'Riley, The Who (Who's Next, 1995) [Heard this first on House M.D., awesome intro]
• Oceans, Rob Dickinson (Fresh Wine For The Horses, 2005)
• Worn Me Down, Rachael Yamagata (EP, 2003) [Heard this plenty randomly but got attached to it when I heard it on an episode of The O.C. and inspired this post.]
• The Story, Brandi Carlile (The Story, 2007) [Reminds me of a friend that I made the same time I discovered this song. The song is kinda like quiet stormy outcry, whatever that means.]
• Dump Opinion, Diana Anaid (Beautiful Obscene, 2004)
• Umbrella, Rihanna (Good Girl Gone Bad, 2007) [One of those average songs that gets stuck in my head. Annoyed a lot of people when I put this as a 'CallerBack' tune.]
• Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood (Some Hearts, 2005)
• (I Just) Died In Your Arms, Cutting Crew (Broadcast, 1987)
• Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, Sarah McLachlan (Mirror Ball, 1999) [My favorite singer / songwriter]
• You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette (Jagged Little Pill, 1995)
• Your Latest Trick, Dire Straits (Brothers In Arms, 1985)
• Don't Speak, No Doubt (Tragic Kingdom, 1995)
• Pictures, Sia (Lady Croissant, 2007)
• Your Eyes Open, Keane (Hopes And Fears, 2004) [Currently my favorite British Pop Group]
  
• Wires, Athlete (Tourist, 2005) [Favorite British Alternative group probably because of a sentimental reason - I went to see their concert with someone. sigh!]
• What Happens Tomorrow, Duran Duran (Astronaut, 2004)
• All You Want, Dido (No Angel, 1999)
  

Insourcing

Indian conglomerate Tata has been acquiring / opening call centers in USA! Insourcing has been happening for a while now, but I thought mostly by companies trying to be patriotic or generally more out of concern for the American worker at their own cost. But now, it seems it makes business sense.

In this case the center in Reno is targeted toward companies willing to pay a
premium - its workers there cost up to 40 percent more than their counterparts
in India - to give their U.S. customers a more culturally fluent, less
frustrating 1-800 experience. (No more hearing someone read from a script ten
time zones away.) [Link]

Specifically, Expedia outsources to Tata who insources to a call center in the U.S. because they can understand the geography better and provide a better service.

... and more companies are finding that hiring Americans offers distinct
advantages. Some companies feel hearing a fellow American makes callers feel
more comfortable. Other foreign firms think Americans bring a more
entrepreneurial attitude to their work. In Expedia's case, its call-center
workers need a firm grasp on U.S. geography.

Now I can believe outsourcing is not going to be seen as evil for too long by the American worker. They know their skill set better than their competing counterparts from other countries, and can focus on what sets them apart in the international economy. The world may now be flat, but they can't always beat out the locals at their own business.

Pursuits after college

...Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time...

Life after college is just not the same. It feels true more and more everyday. It's the first time you really have to make a schedule and start sticking to it. No more just doing whatever. It's been over four years since I was in graduate school. Looking back at it now, a lot has changed, but the one thing that is truly and fundamentally different from then and now is - the pursuit of a worthwhile goal.

Education was always a given. The pursuit of it was an unquestionable goal. For me, it was an excuse to come to the U.S. Nevertheless, it was still an unquestionable and worthwhile pursuit. Nothing else mattered. Got on a plane and left my family behind without another thought. Friends were lost, but they could be replaced. The city I grew up in, the familiarity, the comforts, love interests, whatever! I didn't care. I had to make it. I did.

Today, I feel like I'm standing perfectly still. Which is what I wanted to do for a long while. Enough of that rat race and the constant need to prove that I can do something better. I want to be happy staying wherever I am. Take a moment, take a break. Can it happen? It's such an unfamiliar and somewhat uncomfortable pursuit. I miss the feeling I had in high school and college. That unflinching focus, hope, investment on a goal, a constant goal.

I'm actually quite busy. Yeah, standing still doesn't exactly translate to doing nothing in my life right now. I've got a job that pays the bills and a really expensive apartment that keeps me reasonably busy from time to time. I've taken up not 1 but 2 volunteer jobs that keep me busy the rest of the time. I'm involved with someone on and off. I go on plenty of first dates and nothing comes out of them. Also trying to keep an active interest in photography whenever I get the chance. I constantly meet new people and make new friends almost every other week. I keep up with my multiple social circles in Atlanta and a few close friends that are all over the U.S. and one in India. I love playing PS2 with my niece and nephew and hanging out at my sister's place. Oh, and my parents are visiting from India as well.

Strangely, I don't feel invested in any of these. None of them seem worthy of pursuit towards any a goal right now, or worthy of spending my time. I do it now cause it's there. I'm busy but aimless. I work hard but I'm not invested. I feel close to my friends and family when I'm with them, but somewhat detached the rest of the time. I used to read better but have been compulsively inching the same boring novel all this year. It certainly doesn't feel like college.

Next year, if everything changes and I find myself engaged with some other totally new tasks, I won't mind. None of them will be worthwhile anyway probably, but I wonder... What will they be? For now I'm just drifting. I'm waiting.

...Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line...

(Lyrics from In The Waiting Line by Zero 7)

Green Card Tease

If you are a skilled foreign worker (or at least know someone closely), you probably heard about what's been going on with USCIS reversal of a surprise opportunity for permanent residency.

On June 12, 2007, USCIS published a Visa Bulletin which stated that all skilled foreign workers that were waiting to apply for an 'adjustment of status' through employment, were allowed to apply immediately. This especially was a rare opportunity for workers from India, China, Mexico and Philippines that have to wait upwards of 4 years to even apply. Without questioning their motivations, tens of thousands of foreign workers like me scrambled to get our applications in by meeting our lawyers and getting all the paperwork done, paying for medical exam. Due to the short notice, many workers and their dependants that were abroad had to change their plans overnight and come back to the U.S. as required for the process. This meant changes in even wedding plans for some friends of friends I know.

On July 2, they announce that a new bulletin has been issued, effectively reversing the June 12 bulletin and they were no longer accepting any new applications. I didn't have sufficient time to apply and the money I already spent was a loss. Successful applicants who were able to file before June 30, must have gone to enormous trouble with time, effort and money and they have it even worse. If their applications weren't part of the first 140,000 for the entire current fiscal year, then their applications were being returned as being rejected outright.

Needless to say, this disappointed everyone and devastated quite a lot of people. According to Murthy.com, the AILF is filing a class action lawsuit already. A congresswoman disapproves.

When Will I Really Learn To Cook?

you know when life is good, but something is still missing. when i know what it is, and i no longer want to pay it any attention. and yet it keeps coming up everywhere i go. in conversations, and on tv. especially what seems to come so naturally to everyone else around me. and so i wait, for something to change. not so much wanting to be a cause for the change, but rather expecting the universe to tell me it has. and from time to time, i wake up feeling like something has shifted. i've had a really cheerful week so far and hope comes in profusion. i think i can take things to the next level. and finally have the meaningful change in life i deserve to. i get excited about being seen in a new light, about possibilities leading into new avenues. may be i will finally stop feeling jealous when i am around them. i head towards this new venture with determination. it's finally my turn. it's finally coming around and happening to me. i turn that last corner, ready to get started.

disappointments are a part of life. we all know this. but isn't it just plain wrong when you are no longer surprised? it's really sad, when i know i'm supposed to be sad about the way things turned out, but it actually brings me a smile cause i think it's funny somehow. things usually start out just fine. have every reason to believe it is going to work out. except i never see when i'm already too late. it's already gone bad. i'm not torn up about it. what was i really expecting after so many times? if someone would have told me a few years ago that i would be stuck at this point in life, i would have never believed them.

at the end of it all, i've left only one thing to do. look at it one last time for now. i know that it's what is still missing. i turn around, smile and walk away. i did everything i could. and now i can't stop thinking about ...

St. Patrick's Day

A couple month's late posting this, but nevertheless ...

Went to Savannah for a weekend with a bunch of friends for St. Patrick's Day.

The place was awesome. Tons of people showed up from everywhere proud of their Irish background. Apparently Savannah is Irish Central for St. Patty's. So I was glad to be there to enjoy the parade and take part in the general festivities of being green and getting drunk.

The trip was a disaster for me. I thought I was going with a bunch of singles planning on getting wasted. The moment we get there, everyone decides to come out with their "new" relationship. Apparently everyone in the group had paired up and I was the only loser (and one other guy who couldn't take it anymore and left before the weekend ended) who was single and had absolutely no clue. Yeah, I do NOT recommend getting stuck in another city with no transportation with a bunch of PDA-inflicted new couples. I wanted to kill myself.

55Friday: Miserable

55Friday: The "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" Edition

allergies,
birthdays forgotten,
choices I didn't choose,
disappointed mom,
early morning meetings,
fourth circle of hell,
hiccups,
incomplete projects,
jackasses in power,
lost phone numbers,
my morning echo,
new year resolutions,
photographer's block,
questioning my loyalty,
regret,
sleepless nights,
thoughtless mistakes,
untold tragedies,
words of an ex,
your latest complaints

make me sad and miserable.

Defiance

Saw a beautiful movie today that tells a story of how a housewife overcomes adversity in Defiance.

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

When life treats us an unfair deal, our response to it is typical - anger, despair, finger-pointing, lying, cheating. Based on a real life, the story is about Evelyn Ryan, who displays defiance in place of the above, makes the most of every situation and refuses to give in. She is a mother of 10 kids, and a wife of a man who has plenty of despair and excuses that make matters worse. She chooses to enter different jingle writing contests and use her creativity to win small and big prizes from time to time to make ends meet.

Towards the end of the movie, the Ryans realize they have to vacate their home. Kelly, her husband, takes out a second mortgage without telling her, and it's due. They can't pay.

Evelyn: Just put it all on the front porch. Thank you, girls.
Kelly: Davey, go outside with that.
(The phone rings)
Evelyn: Hello?
Dr. Pepper spokesperson: Hello. Is this Mrs Evelyn L Ryan?
Evelyn: This is she
Spokesperson: Mrs. Ryan, it's my pleasure to inform you that you are our first-prize winner in the Dr. Pepper "Time of Your Life" contest.
Evelyn: Oh, my word.
Spokesperson: You've won a trip for two to Switzerland, a Ford Mustang, his and hers Longines watches and cash in the amount of $3,440.64.
Evelyn: Goodness, well ... these prizes couldn't come at a better time for my large family.
Kelly: Kids, get in here!
Spokesperson: I'm glad to hear that Mrs. Ryan.
Kelly: Come here.
Spokesperson: You have every reason to be proud because your entry beat out 250,000 others.
Evelyn: Thank you, thank you for telling me that. You've brightened my day considerably.
Spokesperson: Thank you, Mrs. Ryan. Good day.
(Evelyn puts the phone down)
Evelyn: We won!
(Everyone shrieks with joy)
Kids: Mom, can we go tell the neighbors?
Evelyn: You can tell whoever you want.
(Tuff, their teenage daughter, sits down crying)
Kelly: Tuffy, it's OK. Everything's going to be OK. We're all going to be OK.
Tuff: No, we aren't.
Kelly: For cripe's sake.
Evelyn: You go on outside, I'll take care of her.
Kelly: Come on, let's go tell everybody. Come on.

(Cut to Tuff's room)
Tuff: He's never gonna change.
Evelyn: You're absolutely right. He's not... Do you know what that man said to me on the phone just now?
Tuff: No.
Evelyn: He said that I beat 250,00 other entries. And do you know what else? It wasn't even my best one. Honey... Honey, you have your whole life in front of you, and you can make of it whatever you want. You have a marvelous mind. And a beautiful heart. And you can accomplish anything. Everything is possible. Do you know that? ... Forgive him, Tuff. Forgive him so that you can embrace this truly remarkable day.
Tuff: I love you, Mom.
Evelyn: I love you.

All Things

Saw an interesting and unusual (for the series) X-Files episode today - All Things, Season 7 (1999). Written and Directed by Gillian Anderson, the theme of the episode is my favorite topic - What If.

The Scully-centered episode starts with Scully's voice over ...

Scully: Time passes in moments. Moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life, just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path. To see the reasons why all things happen. To consider whether the path we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. But what if we could stop? Pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And seeing those choices, choose another path?

The episode is riddled with bizarre coincidences trying to prove the new age philosophy about how everything happens for a reason. Overlooking that, the episode is really well done. Get to see another side of Scully, introspective, pondering about her choices, her past. It was awesome! Just when I thought I couldn't love this character any more, Gillian Anderson takes over the writing and directing and shows her even closely.

Most of the series has Mark Snow composing the music. But I guess Anderson decided to go another way for this new age style episode. Moby's The Sky Is Broken plays throughout the episode, which just renders the slow, contemplating story beautifully.

I constantly wonder about where my life is going. About what, all the routines I've inundated my days and weeks with, will lead to. How do I know that I'm not just wasting time, when I am not thinking harder about what is going to be meaningful to me in 10 years?

Mulder: You're not listening.
Scully: I am... I guess I just don't see the point.
Mulder: The point is that a computer program has shown us that these are not just random happenstance coincidental occurrences. And that same program has predicted that in just 48 hours even more complex formations are gonna be laid down in a field near Avebury. Forty-eight hours, Scully, but I wouldn't mind getting there earlier, if you don't mind.
Scully: Getting where?
Mulder: England, I got two tickets on a 5:30 flight.
Scully: Mulder, I still have to go over to the hospital and finish the final paperwork on that autopsy you had me do. And to be honest, it's Saturday. And I wouldn't mind, I don't know, taking a bath.
Mulder: What the hell does that mean?
Scully: What it means is that I'm not interested in tracking down some sneaky farmers who happened to ace geometry in high school. And besides, what could you possibly get out of this? Or learn? I mean, it's not even remotely FBI related.
Mulder: I'll just cancel your ticket. Thanks for lunch.
Scully: Mulder. Look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. Why don't you ever just stay still?
Mulder: I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.

I constantly wonder about the things I'm missing out on. Things I ought to be doing instead. If only I could figure out what they are. I hope I will find it soon. I hope, although impossible to invest myself in more than a few endeavors, that if I tried enough crafts, met enough people, read enough books / blogs, watched enough movies, traveled to enough cities, captured enough photographs, learned enough philosophies, took enough risks, made enough mistakes, ...

Daniel: There are things you don't know-- things I'm not proud of.
Scully: What things?
Daniel: I screwed up, Dana. Things got bad at home after...
Scully: Bad how?
Daniel: I haven't been completely honest with you. It was hard for me ... when you walked away. I shut down from my family. Needless to say, it was very difficult for Barbara.
Scully: You divorced.
Daniel: Only after an interminable period of discomfort for us both.
Scully: Where did you go?
Daniel: Here. Washington.
Scully: When?
Daniel: Almost ten years ago.
Scully: Daniel, you didn't move here for me?
Daniel: I didn't mean for it to happen this way, of course.
Scully: Oh, God-- You've come at such a strange time.
Daniel: I know. I know. You-- You have a life.
Scully: I don't know what I have. I mean-- Your X rays were in the wrong envelope. I never would have even known you were here if it wasn't for a mix-up. It's just--
Daniel: What do you want, Dana?
Scully: I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I want a life I didn't choose.

Nina Paley's Desire

Came across this cartoon on Sepia Mutiny.

The artist's interpretation ...

The picture is of Desire. Specifically, amorous desire, mine. I was being tormented by desire to the point I couldn't sleep, and a friend suggested a draw a picture of it. She's holding a penis because that's what she wants, but she's also cut it off, because she (my Desire) is a vicious bitch. The head is mine, because, well you know what desire does to our heads. Her vagina is an eye because she sees everything through it, while her eyes are crazed spirals. The skulls represent all my failed relationships, or my ex-lovers - casualties of relationships Desire instigated herself. If I'd set out to draw Kali as Kali, she'd look different, but the picture is of Desire, who looks like that.

Liberties taken with religious idols aside, I think it's amusing how she sees herself.

Moving On

Philosophical Question: How do you accept the inevitable? No, not death. Change.

With excitement? No, your choices are depression or denial. I could throw in alcohol and partying, but you'd end up using it only to cover your depression or denial.

I usually choose denial, cause it keeps me functional. Besides, it is so much cooler to pretend I can handle anything. Finding a reason to hate something about the past seems like a popular choice, since it is so much easier than admitting you still miss it. (Which is a sign of weakness. Who would willingly want to hurt their pride?) So denial works for me. I'm sticking to it.

Change is also today's post-modern culture. If I'm not taking a chance to make progress onto something better, I'm standing still. That is so not cool. If I'm not in with the trend, I would be like the archaic figure teenagers like to rebel against. That is so not cool. Especially since grown-ups have a lot to learn from teenagers according to all the tv I watch.

So the only reason I accept change is because of the pressure that I should? Because there is no alternative?

What's wrong with holding onto the past? It's not progressive obviously. It's not as meaningful as, let's say, building castles in the sky with hope for the future. Which is the main objective. Add meaning to life, improve quality. It's meaningless to watch re-runs. What's the point in living with something you've grown comfortable with? I deserve more and better. Learn from your mistakes, grow confident from your achievements and move on.

Here's the thing about mistakes I've learnt. I make the same ones really, never really learn from them. Sure I wouldn't burn myself twice on the stove, but fires start everywhere. And achievements are cunning, sort of. Each new goal must be challenging, in new ways no less, than the previous one, to satisfy me. Obviously it's a setup for failure. Which I'm supposed to learn from and move on. But then I make the same mistakes again ... Just feels like a vicious cycle you know.

So Change. Here I go again. A month into 2007 and I'm already failing my New Year's resolutions. Still thinking about the people from the past and dreading I will miss the ones that will no longer be there in the future for sure. Another month starts tomorrow. Let me give it another shot.

SAG Awards

Hugh Laurie won again! I'm so happy for him and the show - House, M.D.

55 Friday: Relationship Doomed

"I can't date you. I don't want to date anyone right now. Do you wanna be friends?"
"Yeah right! Don't want to date anyone. Unfortunately, I can't be your friend. I'm attracted to you. If you need me, I can may be, be your confidant."
"I'm too cynical to trust anyone."
"We are doomed then."

Favorite "House" Quote

"You wake up in the morning, your paint's peeling, your curtains are gone, and the water's boiling. Which problem do you deal with first? ... None of them, the building's on fire!"

This is my favorite quote yet of Gregory House from House, M. D.

There are some TV shows that I get addicted to and I hang by every word. This show is my current obsession.