Green Card Tease

If you are a skilled foreign worker (or at least know someone closely), you probably heard about what's been going on with USCIS reversal of a surprise opportunity for permanent residency.

On June 12, 2007, USCIS published a Visa Bulletin which stated that all skilled foreign workers that were waiting to apply for an 'adjustment of status' through employment, were allowed to apply immediately. This especially was a rare opportunity for workers from India, China, Mexico and Philippines that have to wait upwards of 4 years to even apply. Without questioning their motivations, tens of thousands of foreign workers like me scrambled to get our applications in by meeting our lawyers and getting all the paperwork done, paying for medical exam. Due to the short notice, many workers and their dependants that were abroad had to change their plans overnight and come back to the U.S. as required for the process. This meant changes in even wedding plans for some friends of friends I know.

On July 2, they announce that a new bulletin has been issued, effectively reversing the June 12 bulletin and they were no longer accepting any new applications. I didn't have sufficient time to apply and the money I already spent was a loss. Successful applicants who were able to file before June 30, must have gone to enormous trouble with time, effort and money and they have it even worse. If their applications weren't part of the first 140,000 for the entire current fiscal year, then their applications were being returned as being rejected outright.

Needless to say, this disappointed everyone and devastated quite a lot of people. According to Murthy.com, the AILF is filing a class action lawsuit already. A congresswoman disapproves.

When Will I Really Learn To Cook?

you know when life is good, but something is still missing. when i know what it is, and i no longer want to pay it any attention. and yet it keeps coming up everywhere i go. in conversations, and on tv. especially what seems to come so naturally to everyone else around me. and so i wait, for something to change. not so much wanting to be a cause for the change, but rather expecting the universe to tell me it has. and from time to time, i wake up feeling like something has shifted. i've had a really cheerful week so far and hope comes in profusion. i think i can take things to the next level. and finally have the meaningful change in life i deserve to. i get excited about being seen in a new light, about possibilities leading into new avenues. may be i will finally stop feeling jealous when i am around them. i head towards this new venture with determination. it's finally my turn. it's finally coming around and happening to me. i turn that last corner, ready to get started.

disappointments are a part of life. we all know this. but isn't it just plain wrong when you are no longer surprised? it's really sad, when i know i'm supposed to be sad about the way things turned out, but it actually brings me a smile cause i think it's funny somehow. things usually start out just fine. have every reason to believe it is going to work out. except i never see when i'm already too late. it's already gone bad. i'm not torn up about it. what was i really expecting after so many times? if someone would have told me a few years ago that i would be stuck at this point in life, i would have never believed them.

at the end of it all, i've left only one thing to do. look at it one last time for now. i know that it's what is still missing. i turn around, smile and walk away. i did everything i could. and now i can't stop thinking about ...

St. Patrick's Day

A couple month's late posting this, but nevertheless ...

Went to Savannah for a weekend with a bunch of friends for St. Patrick's Day.

The place was awesome. Tons of people showed up from everywhere proud of their Irish background. Apparently Savannah is Irish Central for St. Patty's. So I was glad to be there to enjoy the parade and take part in the general festivities of being green and getting drunk.

The trip was a disaster for me. I thought I was going with a bunch of singles planning on getting wasted. The moment we get there, everyone decides to come out with their "new" relationship. Apparently everyone in the group had paired up and I was the only loser (and one other guy who couldn't take it anymore and left before the weekend ended) who was single and had absolutely no clue. Yeah, I do NOT recommend getting stuck in another city with no transportation with a bunch of PDA-inflicted new couples. I wanted to kill myself.

55Friday: Miserable

55Friday: The "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" Edition

allergies,
birthdays forgotten,
choices I didn't choose,
disappointed mom,
early morning meetings,
fourth circle of hell,
hiccups,
incomplete projects,
jackasses in power,
lost phone numbers,
my morning echo,
new year resolutions,
photographer's block,
questioning my loyalty,
regret,
sleepless nights,
thoughtless mistakes,
untold tragedies,
words of an ex,
your latest complaints

make me sad and miserable.

Defiance

Saw a beautiful movie today that tells a story of how a housewife overcomes adversity in Defiance.

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

When life treats us an unfair deal, our response to it is typical - anger, despair, finger-pointing, lying, cheating. Based on a real life, the story is about Evelyn Ryan, who displays defiance in place of the above, makes the most of every situation and refuses to give in. She is a mother of 10 kids, and a wife of a man who has plenty of despair and excuses that make matters worse. She chooses to enter different jingle writing contests and use her creativity to win small and big prizes from time to time to make ends meet.

Towards the end of the movie, the Ryans realize they have to vacate their home. Kelly, her husband, takes out a second mortgage without telling her, and it's due. They can't pay.

Evelyn: Just put it all on the front porch. Thank you, girls.
Kelly: Davey, go outside with that.
(The phone rings)
Evelyn: Hello?
Dr. Pepper spokesperson: Hello. Is this Mrs Evelyn L Ryan?
Evelyn: This is she
Spokesperson: Mrs. Ryan, it's my pleasure to inform you that you are our first-prize winner in the Dr. Pepper "Time of Your Life" contest.
Evelyn: Oh, my word.
Spokesperson: You've won a trip for two to Switzerland, a Ford Mustang, his and hers Longines watches and cash in the amount of $3,440.64.
Evelyn: Goodness, well ... these prizes couldn't come at a better time for my large family.
Kelly: Kids, get in here!
Spokesperson: I'm glad to hear that Mrs. Ryan.
Kelly: Come here.
Spokesperson: You have every reason to be proud because your entry beat out 250,000 others.
Evelyn: Thank you, thank you for telling me that. You've brightened my day considerably.
Spokesperson: Thank you, Mrs. Ryan. Good day.
(Evelyn puts the phone down)
Evelyn: We won!
(Everyone shrieks with joy)
Kids: Mom, can we go tell the neighbors?
Evelyn: You can tell whoever you want.
(Tuff, their teenage daughter, sits down crying)
Kelly: Tuffy, it's OK. Everything's going to be OK. We're all going to be OK.
Tuff: No, we aren't.
Kelly: For cripe's sake.
Evelyn: You go on outside, I'll take care of her.
Kelly: Come on, let's go tell everybody. Come on.

(Cut to Tuff's room)
Tuff: He's never gonna change.
Evelyn: You're absolutely right. He's not... Do you know what that man said to me on the phone just now?
Tuff: No.
Evelyn: He said that I beat 250,00 other entries. And do you know what else? It wasn't even my best one. Honey... Honey, you have your whole life in front of you, and you can make of it whatever you want. You have a marvelous mind. And a beautiful heart. And you can accomplish anything. Everything is possible. Do you know that? ... Forgive him, Tuff. Forgive him so that you can embrace this truly remarkable day.
Tuff: I love you, Mom.
Evelyn: I love you.

All Things

Saw an interesting and unusual (for the series) X-Files episode today - All Things, Season 7 (1999). Written and Directed by Gillian Anderson, the theme of the episode is my favorite topic - What If.

The Scully-centered episode starts with Scully's voice over ...

Scully: Time passes in moments. Moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life, just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path. To see the reasons why all things happen. To consider whether the path we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. But what if we could stop? Pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And seeing those choices, choose another path?

The episode is riddled with bizarre coincidences trying to prove the new age philosophy about how everything happens for a reason. Overlooking that, the episode is really well done. Get to see another side of Scully, introspective, pondering about her choices, her past. It was awesome! Just when I thought I couldn't love this character any more, Gillian Anderson takes over the writing and directing and shows her even closely.

Most of the series has Mark Snow composing the music. But I guess Anderson decided to go another way for this new age style episode. Moby's The Sky Is Broken plays throughout the episode, which just renders the slow, contemplating story beautifully.

I constantly wonder about where my life is going. About what, all the routines I've inundated my days and weeks with, will lead to. How do I know that I'm not just wasting time, when I am not thinking harder about what is going to be meaningful to me in 10 years?

Mulder: You're not listening.
Scully: I am... I guess I just don't see the point.
Mulder: The point is that a computer program has shown us that these are not just random happenstance coincidental occurrences. And that same program has predicted that in just 48 hours even more complex formations are gonna be laid down in a field near Avebury. Forty-eight hours, Scully, but I wouldn't mind getting there earlier, if you don't mind.
Scully: Getting where?
Mulder: England, I got two tickets on a 5:30 flight.
Scully: Mulder, I still have to go over to the hospital and finish the final paperwork on that autopsy you had me do. And to be honest, it's Saturday. And I wouldn't mind, I don't know, taking a bath.
Mulder: What the hell does that mean?
Scully: What it means is that I'm not interested in tracking down some sneaky farmers who happened to ace geometry in high school. And besides, what could you possibly get out of this? Or learn? I mean, it's not even remotely FBI related.
Mulder: I'll just cancel your ticket. Thanks for lunch.
Scully: Mulder. Look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. Why don't you ever just stay still?
Mulder: I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.

I constantly wonder about the things I'm missing out on. Things I ought to be doing instead. If only I could figure out what they are. I hope I will find it soon. I hope, although impossible to invest myself in more than a few endeavors, that if I tried enough crafts, met enough people, read enough books / blogs, watched enough movies, traveled to enough cities, captured enough photographs, learned enough philosophies, took enough risks, made enough mistakes, ...

Daniel: There are things you don't know-- things I'm not proud of.
Scully: What things?
Daniel: I screwed up, Dana. Things got bad at home after...
Scully: Bad how?
Daniel: I haven't been completely honest with you. It was hard for me ... when you walked away. I shut down from my family. Needless to say, it was very difficult for Barbara.
Scully: You divorced.
Daniel: Only after an interminable period of discomfort for us both.
Scully: Where did you go?
Daniel: Here. Washington.
Scully: When?
Daniel: Almost ten years ago.
Scully: Daniel, you didn't move here for me?
Daniel: I didn't mean for it to happen this way, of course.
Scully: Oh, God-- You've come at such a strange time.
Daniel: I know. I know. You-- You have a life.
Scully: I don't know what I have. I mean-- Your X rays were in the wrong envelope. I never would have even known you were here if it wasn't for a mix-up. It's just--
Daniel: What do you want, Dana?
Scully: I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I want a life I didn't choose.

Nina Paley's Desire

Came across this cartoon on Sepia Mutiny.

The artist's interpretation ...

The picture is of Desire. Specifically, amorous desire, mine. I was being tormented by desire to the point I couldn't sleep, and a friend suggested a draw a picture of it. She's holding a penis because that's what she wants, but she's also cut it off, because she (my Desire) is a vicious bitch. The head is mine, because, well you know what desire does to our heads. Her vagina is an eye because she sees everything through it, while her eyes are crazed spirals. The skulls represent all my failed relationships, or my ex-lovers - casualties of relationships Desire instigated herself. If I'd set out to draw Kali as Kali, she'd look different, but the picture is of Desire, who looks like that.

Liberties taken with religious idols aside, I think it's amusing how she sees herself.