Dilemma of Pursuit

Obviously it is great to have goals. A sense of purpose always adds more meaning to our life. But how often do we actually consider the pitfalls of pursuing these goals? Even if we realize it, is stopping really an option?

I discovered Solea (Carmen Gonzalez) on Flickr through less than six degrees of separation of my contacts. I've seen less than four pictures of her before I decided that she was a great photographer and especially good at her specialty - Self Portraits. Then I came across her post about how she was dealing with an article that was printed about her. Last week The Sunday Times in London covered her in an article about the thin line between artistic nudes and blatant self-promotion using explicit self-portraits, especially by women. Of course, it's a man's world and if nudity is a ticket for some women to get recognition, it's up to them.

But what about Solea? She is unquestionably successful. She is popular all over Holland's radio and news media. She has fans and haters all over the world. Fans who either truly appreciate her artwork or fans who just love to see her skin. Haters who are trying to preserve the integrity of art and haters who think she is a disgrace to feminism. It's a controversy, we get it.

What is her attitude? Her post within a week of the article shows she is trying to stay positive. Ignore the haters and listen to her friends. Quote -

A friend of mine who plays in a band once said: "i love it if i have haters...makes me feel superiour...makes me feel like a gladiator"... i thought it was such a fantastic remark :) i will have that in the back of my head ..

Good for her. She has her priorities figured out. She wants to pursue her artistic abilities and use this publicity as an opportunity to expand her exposure. For her, Pursuit is still the right choice. Her success has probably already affected her personal life, but she probably already dealt with it without any serious setbacks. Too bad Tamara Hoover wasn't as lucky.

What about the rest of us mere mortals? What if the pursuit of one good thing competes with the pursuit of other good things? Not all of us have our priorities figured out so simply. It's easy, say, if we were truly successful at one pursuit, I guess the rest can go to hell. I have known people who have found their calling, and love their work so much that everything else is a far lesser priority. We have all heard stories of the successful cliché men and women who ignore their families and are therefore evil. And on the flip side, we also have pitied the brilliant women (and sometimes men too) who have thrown their successful careers away to save their marriage or start a family. These are the lucky people, evil or pitiful. They have straightened their priorities and made decisions about what they want out of a meaningful life.

Coming back to the remainder of people (including me) who remain stuck. I have a good job and I am good at it. I wouldn't consider it my calling, nor do I have head hunters banging on my door because I am so successful. So just average. Depending on the relationship I am in, I would tend to give priority to spend more time with the one I want to be with, rather than meet every deadline at work. But when faced with the question of relocating and finding another job to accommodate a relationship, I chose to stay with my comfortable job without having to think hard. No relationship has ever been worth changing jobs for and I have been dumped for the same reason too.

Clearly, at no point have I found one pursuit to be more or less important than another. Serves me for trying not to be evil or pitiful and have it all. But then in the average person's life this is a dilemma we must face. And if we remain stuck the longer, the longer we remain.

The vicious cycle has begun again. I'm trying to figure what it is that I truly want to pursue, at least one thing however small, without ever looking back. Predictably, I have the fear of potential regret over missing out on other pursuits that I might find worthwhile. Therefore, the dilemma. Is there one thing that would make me go - "to hell with everything else"? This is what I keep hearing from people...

"Go to India and get married."
"Marriage is over-rated, I don't recommend it."
"You need to stop thinking so much. Stop being such a woman."
"You need a hobby."
"May be you should change careers. Have you thought about exploring your sketching or photography skills more?"
"Get on Match.com. Start dating some white women."
"Do you want to become an entrepreneur? Have your own business and generate stable income while sitting at home? (hint: pyramid scheme or illegal scam)"

Solea, help.