Fourth Circle Of Hell

We are doomed to fruitless labor. Cooking and cleaning is a partial definition of home. At work, bureaucracy promises us enough paperwork to sober up the most passionate workaholic. And the car that takes me back and forth is comparable to high maintenance relationships. Hmmm... if this is a taste of the fourth circle of Hell, I guess it's not scary enough. The religious fanatics need to come up with a scarier model to keep us in check.

Pursuit Of Happiness

Aristotle had it figured out. Happiness is a drug and the pursuit of happiness is an addiction. This is partly why people are miserable when they are unhappy. They are going through a chemical withdrawal. And this withdrawal based misery or depression depends on the original level of addiction.

Level 1: As kids, happiness is achieved easily. Candy, cartoons ... yup, doesn't take much. Even as adults we try to enjoy the little things. Chocolate - The simplest kind of happiness. But very temporary. After a certain point it stops satisfying. What to do? Eat more candy or ...

Level 2: Competition. Winning in sports or any other platform that proves one better than another. I hated sports but I was shamelessly happy when I beat the idiots in class at Math. Some would say this is an evil kind of happiness. It works. Don't break the rules and it's ok. Unfortunately the killer instinct doesn't last. What to do? Find a new discipline and train or ...

Level 3: Help others. Give. Make your family happy, be there for your friends, provide for the needy and world peace. It's a serious endeavor and this is what most people ought to pursue. This is enough. This level of happiness is satisfying enough. But then there are people screwed up enough that need more.

Level 4: Perfection. Addicts who seek this level of the happy drug aren't satisfied until they experience the elusive and rare - love, god, truth, destiny. Those unfortunate enough to not get their fix become severely depressed or kill themselves. Idiots with high standards. They should've quit while they were still ahead.

I guess the pitfalls of experiencing a more meaningful life is an addiction to happiness. The problem isn't that it is self-destructive during withdrawal, the motive to pursue itself seems futile if a possible end result is the exact opposite of happiness.

God influencing US Foreign Policy

For Evangelicals, Supporting Israel Is ‘God’s Foreign Policy’ - New York Times

People will rationalize anything. According to this NYTimes article, conservative Christians think that it is justifiable per the Bible for US to take the side of Israel and continue waging the war. So much for the separation of the Church and State. In response to the meeting between President Bush and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel, administration officials claim that it was just a courtesy meeting with a political ally and that evangelical theology has no effect on foreign policy making. Yeah Right! Read the article for more insight.

As long as religion plays a role in politics and wars, which will probably continue for a while, there will be no end to radical terrorism.

Ladder Theory

Came across this on Chick Pea's blog and thought it was totally hilarious and right on the mark.

Ladder Theory

Can't stop laughing.

Emotional Dependence

Too Close for Comfort - New York Times

By STEPHANIE COONTZ

I loved this article by Stephanie Coontz. In fact, I'm going to get her book Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage right away to read her opinions on Marriage.

"EVER since the Census Bureau released figures last month showing that married-couple households are now a minority, my phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from people asking: “How can we save marriage? How can we make Americans understand that marriage is the most significant emotional connection they will ever make, the one place to find social support and personal fulfillment?”

I think these are the wrong questions — indeed, such questions would have been almost unimaginable through most of history."

As any desi from a conservative family, I get a ton of pressure about getting married soon or else ... Life will be a drab, lonely journey that I will regret to no end. Not that there is anything wrong with that (hehehe, Seinfeld reference), but there is so much else to life besides marriage. Of course, we need emotional attachments, but a big mistake people tend to make is save all their emotional energy for this "right person", and that puts a tremendous amount of stress on a new relationship and a lot of expectation to meet. Expecting emotional attachment from one person can become pathologically dependedent. It wasn't always that way for us.

"It has only been in the last century that Americans have put all their emotional eggs in the basket of coupled love. Because of this change, many of us have found joys in marriage our great-great-grandparents never did. But we have also neglected our other relationships, placing too many burdens on a fragile institution and making social life poorer in the process."

I have known so many desi friends that disappeared overnight the moment they got married. I may sound bitter or jealous, but I would still argue that despite the new found joy in a person's life in the form of a spouse, diverting all your social energy into personal life is not healthy in the long term. What happens when there is any kind of rupture, however small, in this supposedly ideal and perfect relationship? You've just become emotionally stranded because you have alienated all other relationships.

"The solution to this isolation is not to ramp up our emotional dependence on marriage. Until 100 years ago, most societies agreed that it was dangerously antisocial, even pathologically self-absorbed, to elevate marital affection and nuclear-family ties above commitments to neighbors, extended kin, civic duty and religion."

There is more to life besides marriage.

Micro Fiction: Cheater

"Hey, I just made it. My cab should be here any minute. You okay?"
"You got another call... I talked to him... He says he's sorry. He wanted me to tell you that. May be I should've seen it. I knew it was something. When I'd offer to meet you on the road before Sam was born, you always had some excuse. Fewer and fewer visits every year, always some reason. You distracted yourself with friends even when we had only a day or two together. You could never wait to leave. Anything not be here, not to be with me. It's amazing how we fill in the blanks, the way we want to see them. And I kept filling them in. I'm not pretty today. I'm not funny or smart or interesting enough. Next visit, I'll do better, I'll work harder, I'll figure it out. I felt so unattractive sometimes, so unwanted, you have no idea how hard it was always trying to find some reason, some way that I failed. Somewhere deep down, I knew something was wrong, I'm sure I did. Guess I must've been afraid to ask somehow. But I wonder if I had, if you would have told me the truth. Even in my arms, you were always out of reach. And may be you didn't love me the way I did you, but you didn't even care enough to be honest with me. You didn't choose someone else, Carl. You are someone else."

(Blatantly adapted from a TV show)

CO Awareness

Carbon monoxide exposure: silent killer

As winter sets in, most people should become aware that turning up the heat from whatever source, and sealing all doors and windows to keep warm, may as well become a death trap from a faulty heating / burning device that emits Carbon Monoxide. Invest in a decent CO alarm and save lives.